Skip to main content

My Hero; My Hope



My life has always  been like a wild goose chase. Nothing is ever enough so I chase the whirlwind and the tornadoes. Hoping to catch them before disaster strikes and throws my house down to nothingness. 

Few things were ever permanent for me. I was always deathly afraid to have good things because I’m almost certain they’ll expire before I can blink!

I never could jump up for joy even when I was happy because I was always dashing through the chapters of my life like the “white rabbit in the coat in Alice in wonderland .”

I was always in a rush to see how the book ends! The endings were always the same; defeated and trampled on by the raging demons in my head! 

I inhaled a sharp deep breath from the depth of my stomach. my shoulders fell back in a relaxed state as the tension melted away. 

For the first time I feel free and ready for a different well deserved prize ending!

Disney happy endings were meant for fairytales and that is the only place where they should only belong! 

I realize now that I need to be writing my own happy endings instead of sprinting  through the same book that was written by someone else ; I’d read over and over knowing it’s a biased ending to my story; but continued to read through again and again! 

I finally came to accept that I was the knight in shining armor I was always waiting for!

I should have been staring at the mirror all along to find the hero within  instead of hoping to find my white night in a circus of clowns in disguise! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My forever puppy; Tino

I felt like I experienced all heart break until I mourned  out sharp cries while holding my fur baby in my arms hoping I could still revive him.  He had just made five years old the previous week. We were happy for this wonderful life of our call fur of joy! Anyone who knows me knows I loved my forever puppy Tino to death. I literally called him the love of my life. He was. He got me out of depression and helped me heal a lot of wounds I couldn’t open up about .  There are five  stage of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. 7 pm I got a call from home that Tino was no more. I was in denial and very angry. I screamed at everyone and everyone who was home at the time. I couldn’t articulate anything. I was shattered! I just couldn’t believe it. Something must be a mistake. I fell down and broke my glasses. I screamed until my head hurt and my ribs ached.  Luckily my pastor friend had passed by earlier for some consultation and my aunt was at...
Post a Comment
Read more

You only live once

Life can feel like your leg has been tied tightly to an anchor; and you're drowning deep down to the bottom of the ocean :- never to breathe or be seen again! Life can also feel like you're riding a magical unicorn with glistening colorful wings ; on a rainbow. While eating cotton candy clouds and wearing a crown of humming birds:- singing ever so slightly how life is but a dream! Life is a beautiful disaster that brings you bloody red roses with thorns of steel! The beauty is magnificent; bringing in so much joy but the thorns will send you to an early grave! Life presents you a brightly burning candle full of hope; but that same beacon of light will die out even before the night is out! Leaving you in darkness until the sun finally comes out; and the rays caress your melancholic cheeks. Life is not something to pass through despite all this bittersweet love-hate relationship nevertheless! Life is here for you to live it as the most powerful and intelligent bei...
Post a Comment
Read more

Chasing Perfection!

Do you ever sense a peculiar cloud hanging over you, despite the positive momentum in your life? It's as if, no matter how many milestones you achieve, the ideal destination remains elusive.   Consider this: today, you proudly receive a Guinness World Records award for your exceptional talent, only to find tomorrow that the year is ending, and that stubborn extra belly fat persists. It's a constant balancing act between accomplishments and the unmet expectations of where you envision yourself.   Could it be self-sabotage, a deficiency in gratitude, or the incessant urge to compare yourself to others? The weight of self-imposed expectations can make it feel like you're consistently falling short in the race of life, burdened by undue pressure.   In those moments, be kind to yourself. Despite scrutinizing imperfections and fixating on minor setbacks, acknowledge the many great achievements throughout the year. Life is an intricate blend of short and long journey...
Post a Comment
Read more