Are my demons finally winning?

Growing up I heard people talk about how they fought with demons and I could never fathom what that must be like for them.
In my small mind demons were this huge imaginary things that beat you down and there was literally no control of them!

I never would imagine that my demons would grow as I grow and perhaps even try to take over me!
Little did I know that they were fast growing and real!

My demons grew and as fate would have it they grew beyond me!
I was helpless and at their mercy!
Perhaps I’d given up the fight and completely surrenders to them!
Maybe like all grown ups I’d watched them grow and even nurtured them!

An ugly side of me that I could never have imagined began to emerge!
I allowed that I wasn’t strong enough and allowed them to rule over!

They care out strong and ugly. I lost a huge chunk of me as much as the huge part of people I cared about the most as I allowed them to shine!
The God in me disappeared and the devil in me came out strong!

I tried to mask them with a lot of substances that could not overpower not even one demon!
I disgraced myself and my loved ones and everything I had worked so hard for was gone overnight.
The demons were asleep but I was awake that’s when I discovered that the demons I had learned to live with had taken the last great piece of me!

I was a shadow of embarrassment and shame! I had allowed things that had so little control of me take over me.
I knew every single one of them had to go. Not slowly but cold turkey! I was throwing every single one of them overnight.
I wasn’t sleeping until they were all gone!