Fake it till you make it

I've never been one to fake anything. Of course by anything as a woman I'll clarify; my emotions 😉
"Girl you need to smile even if you're having a bad day." I often hear this and roll my eyes.

There's so much power is wearing your emotions on your face; allowing the feelings to consume me fast and slowly; and then boom the whirlwind is gone forever once the chaos stops.
You don't get to go home and cry in your bed at night lonely and devastated.

I refuse to drown my feelings in a bottle and plaster a big stupid smile on my face for people to feel comfortable.

" Girl you share too much!" Yes my friends and strangers tell me that all the time.
I'm the typical extrovert. I'll meet someone and basically tell them my life story.

I'm not interested in pity and sympathy. I literally have release therapy from talking about stuff.

I'll cry and listen to hard rock and throw air bullets into the night sky until all my strong emotions are done.

I'll write poem after poem, blog after blog to release all the tension in my mind until my storm has calmed.
But I'll not fake it until I make it.
I'll let the lava melt down my entire body until it's turned to ice and slowly the body regrows its flesh.

"You're so strong. You just rise above everything don't you." My friends always say.
And I remind them how I allowed myself to feel everything in order to heal.

Unlike everyone else I grieved, collected myself and made the decision to start anew; no steps skipped.

Fake it till you make it will just keep save face for the "gram" and them keep you battling demons until the wee hours of the night.

There's strength in going through pain and overcoming it with no shortcuts.
Beyond that is sunshine, flowers, unicorns and total bliss!